Again, my spirit aches and only by God’s grace and mercy can I make it through another day.

The devil is a character that torments me at just about every turn. I’m not trying to be poetic or deep at all. This is just how it is. Monday night I fall, Tuesday afternoon I hurt.

Forgiveness is hard stuff. Why is it hard? Because forgiveness isn’t genuine until it doesn’t hurt anymore. 

Honesty.

Truthfulness.

Sincerity.

Simplicity.

Christ.

These are are words I admire.

Everyday is a battle to the next and God is the only thing that keeps me moving, rather than falling flat, curling up, and decaying.

I cry. I cry my heart out and it’s only God who hears me. My tears finding comfort in the everlasting love of the Father. I could not find love in the world, I could not find love in music, and lastly I could not find love in return from the girl I had loved.

This is my conclusion: The earthly stuff is all good and great and whatever. Don’t get me wrong, I want to have a family and all that, but the world will fail me. The world will and has broken my heart. The question is, why have I searched for love in the world and people, when God has always been there to love me? 

This is not cliche, this is not some “Christian-come-to-christ-or-die-in-hell” crap that I hear oh too often. This is REAL LIFE. I as a Christian, as a Pastors Kid, as a Teacher, and as a Student, have faults and I do hurt and battle with temptations and betrayal. 

Hopefully, one day this blog may be helpful to people who stumble across it. 

Lesson: Emptiness and hurt is reality, but God and His love is salvation for me.