Yet again God brings to me revelation, through my pain.

I struggle. I’m being honest here. I struggle more than anything else.

Therefore, it is difficult for me to sometimes see the glory of what God has done in my life. Still, that does not change the fact that God HAS DONE a whole lot for me.

It is my carnal and human behavior, that blocks me from God. It is my thoughts, my unforgiveness, my hatred, and anger that keeps me away from the everlasting peace of God.

Most of my life I have been searching for “Peace”(much like the “Atmosphere” post).

I had a taste of this peace momentarily, and it drove me mad when I lost it. I realize now what happened. I lost the “peace” when my mind, body, and carnal nature took over. I have been praying and praying, but prayer is just empty words when there is no action to back up my prayers. 

It has absolutely nothing to do with being “spiritual” or “Christian” or “Godly”. It’s all about being real and true to yourself and God. I was looking for “peace” in people and never found it, then I found peace in God and lost it(that saying, “you never know what you got till its gone”, is so true). It wasn’t God who had left me, it was just me being human and pathetic, not opening the door to God for comforting peace.

My heart had to be made right and within these few minutes here in front of this computer, I am convicted. My words can’t and will not be filled with nothingness.

I began to hate the people around me, but the sad truth is that I can’t change people or their choices in life. So God, has revealed to me yet again another principle and that is to love people despite of their past, choices, character, or familiarity.(still this does not mean that I have to conform to their standards)

But, this is what Christ would do. It’s hard, it’s painful, and it’s bloody irritating(lol), but still this is what Christ went through and I can see the pain that he experienced was not just physical, it was emotional as well(I don’t know what people think, but I would take a day with a broken arm rather than a broken heart). Still, this is what amazes me right now. On that cross, in pain(physical and emotional) He could still find the strength to forgive and love. 

So in the spirit of math:

Hate + unforgiveness x bitterness + prayer - any actual physical change = nothing

Love + forgiveness x thanksgiving + prayer - any hindrance + actual change = Peace

I’m still learning, every now and then I fail, but what’s important is to get back up, quit sulking, thank God for grace and keep going. It’s all about being real and truthful to yourself and God.